Posted by: Yang | September 10, 2009

woke up from a dream

It’s about 3:19am on a early Thursday morning, September 10, 2009. I just woke up from a dream that was very intense. But before I go into detail, I should note that before going to sleep I felt fatigued as if my body was tired from a long day. Something that may be attributed to lack of oxygen type of feeling. That was around about 12am.

In my dream, I was at a good friends house. Now this friend, DR, has had me house sit several times before in the past (in real life). Back to the dream; I walked into the house and noticed that it wasn’t right. Someone was in there, so I went to the basement. Down there were some people that I knew, cousin and friends. Or actually, before that, these friends and not the cousin, were trying to get to the other side of a flat land by swinging accross. Everyone else went and then it was my turn, when I got to the other side, I saw someone that my brothers use to hang out with. He hasn’t been around for many years now and their relationships hasn’t been the same for a long time. Anyhow, I was confused as to why he was there. And then somehow we were in the basement of my friends house. I was uneasy that they would be in DRs house since they don’t even know him. So I figured I should go lock the doors and windows. I went to the windows first, got into the bath tub, (the bathroom scene was from a different place, a place where I use to live with some other friends). I noticed that the windows were opened, so I tried to close them. But then out of no where I see someone coming up to check the window as if they wanted to see why it’s taking so long. So I decided to lay as if I was giong to take a bath. This by the way was all in the day time. Then out of no where, the friends from the basement were all outside the window and talking, they weren’t aware of my presence until one of them saw me through the blinds and was asking who I was. Looking in and realizing that it was me, they greeted me and asked how things were going for me. As we started to talk, some people maybe about 5 or so, came through the back. One of the guys had his hand by his waist like he was going to pull out a gun. One of the two friends who was by the window chatting with me, told the guy closest to the strangers approaching and said for him to be ready incase they start shooting. So the closest guy to them grabs his gun from his waist and was ready. The group of guys asked to speak to someone from the basement. So I took him downstairs, and turned out it was one of my brother that he wanted to speak with. As we were coming back up, something didn’t feel right so I started to panic and was trying to lock all the doors, for some reason there were 3 doors. I locked 2 of them, which felt like it took forever. Then I realized that I needed to find my cell phone, found the house phone first and then saw my cell phone lying on the table and grabbed it. I followed the other guy and my brother through the front door (now the house is the house that I use to live in but for some reason it was supposedly my friends home). By the time I got outside, everyone seem to just be chilling and talking amongst themselves. I asked my brother what was going on and he told me that there were some verbal confrontation in the hood but cool now. All they wanted was to get a cousin of mine over so they can talk. My brother asked if I had my cousins number, by the time he was done asking me, somehow my cousin was already there. He comes up to me and greeted me, asked if I needed any help carrying laundry loads. But it seems that he only asked that cause he was uneasy of the people that was there. I told him no I don’t have any and patted him on the shoulder. Next thing I knew, some child hood friends and his brothers were there and I was just joking with them like, “you guys have been every where I been lately, whats up with that?”

Then I started to wake up. Not just wake up suddenly but slowly and I realized that my breathing was different. Inhaling was short and exhaling was long, and the breath taking was like I was holding a whole note. I should also note that lately, for the past 2-3 weeks I have been sleeping with oxygen on at about .75 – 1 liter during the night time. When I realized that my breathing didn’t seem right, I kinda went into panic mode like what’s going on here. It wasn’t full blown panic but the htought ran through my mind and I was more aware of it. So of course I couldn’t go back to sleep and went downstairs to turn up the oxygen to 2 liters. Coming up the stairs I felt fine, not out of breath or breathing heavy or anything. But when I sat down to use to the bathroom, felt like I was going to do #2. I felt like I couldn’t take full deep breaths and then panic kicked up a notch. So I came to the computer, turn it on, got my nebulizers (inhaling medication) ready, albuteral and hypertonic saline (special salt water). Did a few chest stretching, both my arms on the door frame and pushing my body through the door. This is to open up your rib cage and give your lung some room to take in deep breaths. Worked on my colour bone muscle area cause thats where I usually tell if something is off too. So stretched the muscle around that area, top and back. That usually helps to alleviate the stress and tightness around that area. Since then, with the oxygen turned up, the neb treatment, I do feel better. My breathing seems like its back to normal and my anxiety seem to have calm down. My body feels like it’s taking in enough air so that I dont’ feel so fatigue.

During when I first woke up, my sister was up too, she was hot in the room where she was sleeping and coming out to the open room where there was air conditioning. She was aking why I wasn’t sleeping and I just told here that I needed to do a treatment. But in my mind, I was thinking about the dream and thinking that if my breathing gets worse, then I’ll have her take me down to ER. That was at about 3:19am, it is now 3:57am and she’s asleep, I’m feeling better. So I think it’s safe to say that I can go back to sleep in a few minutes from now.

I bring this up here in this blog because I wonder if my lungs and body being low on oxygen had anything to do with this dream. Now the dream was some sort of a recreation from something that happened recently, which most likely did not go the way my dream did. But my mind was recreating it with whatever information it has and just kinda got creative with it. At any rate, I wonder if it had any relevance to one another or was it just a coincidence? I can speculate and try to find connections but the obvious and important thing is I feel okay right now. My left upper muscle by my colour bone isn’t burning, both my lungs feels like it can expand a lot more now, my body doesn’t feel exhausted or fatigued, mentally I feel stable again. So all is good, and with that, a good night to all.


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